• K

"I can't hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."

Updated: Jul 8, 2019

Let's make it clear from the very beginning. I want to have fun, I want to be (brutally) honest with myself and my readers too.

I don't want to write about things I know, but about things, I would personally read - things I find interesting* (*stole this idea from A. Kleons book; Steal like an artist, 2012).

Are you ready?

Here we go.

Last month I went to visit my fiancés' homeland (England). A country of beautiful green grass, the Royal family, gentlemen and "I-don't-fart" ladies, Harry Potter vibes and wasted youth.

Let me describe the typical day of average adult living in London:

Fuck mate, another day of work.

Wasting ⅓ of the day commuting.

Hating life but being polite anyway.

Having a beer after work, because fuck what would I do in this weather anyways.

Putting self-pity dick in the mouth.


*based on non-scientific data

I genuinely love this country. I could definitely relate to all of it, not that I have the capacity to experience it all in one day (with all respect). But mostly the “pity dick” is something I find myself with more often lately. So let's take a closer look to this brilliant metaphor.

Freelancing is awesome and I hate it sometimes.

Mostly when my calendar is empty and I feel useless, lonely, not talented or nowhere near good enough and I see no future whatsoever. My brain keeps reminding me that my job is not done with the last invoice I sent, and crafting is a never-ending process, and there is no one paying you at the moment (you can also charge them a little extra for this especially hard times).

But my mouth? Busy. Full of awful tasting self-pity cum.

(Yes, I leave you with this image for a little longer).

Hey I don’t enjoy it any more than you do (you filthy animal) here are some ways I get rid of it.

1.Words we use are worlds we live in. (R. Ford)

You know when you think of something you start to see it everywhere? Like when I wanted to start cycling and suddenly the whole of Prague was full of the “pink bikes” by Rekolo (the bike sharing system in Prague).

Miracle? No. Power of priming your mind. Want something in your life? Think of “bikes”. Talk about them. Write it down, even make your own personalized vision board screensaver. Whatever makes your mind fill with things you need or want, it helps you be more alert when the opportunity occurs. Find more about this topic in the book by J. Nagler-

"How to Be an Artist Without Losing Your Mind, Your Shirt, Or Your Creative Compass: A Practical Guide".

2. The greatest bit of advice I ever received was "Don't worry, no one else knows what they're doing either." (R. Gervais)

Fear of failure? Fuck that. You can fail in anything, even things you don't like doing. So why not spending time failing at things you love?

3. It is the ocean, silly, we are not the only two in here. (Dori from Finding Nemo)

If anything that helped me lately... it was sharing. Talking to my partner, family, friends even strangers on social media. We are not alone. We are part of something bigger than ourselves. I'm not the only one experiencing dicks in the mouth at this moment (this joke makes me happy) and throughout the history of humankind too. Not even mentioning Jung and his concept of collective unconscious, or fucking whole universe and its black holes and what the hell are we doing here? (Love this one

We can share, we can talk, we can even LAUGH over our personal tragedy, and that's beautiful.

I wish for you my reader, to make yourself surrounded by people you are willing to share with, learn from, and those who will kindly remind you:

"I can't hear you with that pity dick in your mouth."

- Deadpool 2


Deadpool 2 was written by Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Ryan Reynolds.

Script for Finding Nemo was written by Andrew Stanton, Bob Peterson, David Reynolds.

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